With Thanksgiving days away, many of us are reflecting on the blessings in our lives. Like many of you, I’m grateful for my family, health, house, finances, career, opportunities. But lately, I’m cherishing how the friends in my life have made an eternal difference and impact…especially during rough times in my life.
Mat Bearers
Mark 2:1–12 tells the story of Jesus healing a paralytic man. It’s an awesome account of a man not only being forgiven of his sins but also being healed. But I’m all about verse 3, which says, “They came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men.” (ESV) The paralytic couldn’t walk to get himself to Jesus. So his buddies brought him all the way to the feet of Jesus.
I want us to focus our attention on the four buddies. Can you imagine what those guys might have been thinking when they arrived at the place where Jesus was and there was “no more room in the hut”? There wasn’t even standing room in the back. No chance in Jerusalem they were getting inside those doors. How frustrated they must have felt!
But these friends didn’t take no for an answer.
Door’s blocked?
No room?
We’ll just dismantle the house to get our friend what he needs.
I’ve seen people do whatever it takes on behalf of a friend in need, just like these four men. And I’m guessing you’ve seen it too, if not benefited from it yourself.
Friends who drop everything to come over and watch your kids, so you can go to the hospital for the hundredth time. Neighbors who mow your grass or shovel your driveway when you’re grieving and can’t find your way outdoors. Coworkers who carry the extra load and take over the meeting or project, so you can miss work for your treatments. Family members who do your dirty laundry, clean your house, buy your groceries, and overlook your mess as you recover. Loved ones who sit quietly by your side, saying nothing, because there’s nothing to be said.
Buddies who move heaven and earth to show you how much you’re loved.
My Mat
When my kids were young and I was a new Christian, I faced a difficult personal trial. Many of us know that, just because we turn our life over to Christ, it doesn’t mean we won’t have struggles or challenges. We have an enemy who is out to get us (Ephesians 6:12) and who will tell us lies about who we are if we let him.
As the daughter of a single mother, I was an impressionable teenager who looked for love and approval wherever I could get it. Before I married my husband, many of my dating relationships were unhealthy.
So as my faith was growing, the devil tried to use my colorful past and insecurities against me. For a time, he succeeded.
There was a man in my life who often said encouraging or kind things to me. Unwittingly, his approval made me feel important and special. I took all of his words to heart and before long, I was embroiled in a one-sided emotional affair with this man.
Several things were terribly wrong with this picture. First, I was daydreaming about this man who was not my husband. Thankfully, he never had any idea this was going on (and still doesn’t). Second, my husband had no idea this was happening, and had done nothing to warrant my emotional detachment. He’s always been attentive, encouraging, and loving. I adore him!
I knew my inappropriate thought-life was not acceptable. I could even think through to the end of any fantasy and see that it was not something I wanted. I begged God to take away the thoughts I was having and repeatedly pleaded for forgiveness. I wanted the life I had with my husband and my three kids. But my thoughts had an unrelenting hold on me that I couldn’t break free from on my own.
After months of internal torture and a growing emotional chasm between my husband and me, I knew I needed help or I might do something I’d regret. Finally, I shared what I had been going through with a few trustworthy Bible study friends who were walking life’s road with me.
Initially, I was afraid to tell them because I was ashamed, but I had no choice left. It was either tell another person and hope for the best or risk the worst-case scenario playing out.
Redemption and Grace
My friends received my confession with open ears and tender, grace-filled hearts. They were my mat carriers. They didn’t judge me; they merely pointed me toward truth and helped me find a way back to the marriage and man that I loved.
It’s a beautiful sight when people carry your mat and bring you before the throne of grace. But you have to let them.
My situation had paralyzed me. But when I couldn’t pick up my mat and get myself to Jesus, my friends dug a hole in the roof of my dirty, grungy sin and led me to redemption and forgiveness. They also emboldened me to share the truth with my husband, who offered more of the same.
I am a new creation. Loved by God. Saved by grace. And I made it through that hard place in my life because a few cherished friends took a risk, and didn’t give in until I found truth and freedom.
Friends, let’s be willing to let other people help us get to the throne of grace when we can’t get there ourselves. And let’s always be willing to be mat-bearers for each other.
And during this season of Thanksgiving, let’s be sure to let those mat bearers know how much they mean to us.
{P.S. My marriage survived that rough season—and was better for it. My husband and I never take for granted the joy and love we share today. In fact, we teach marriage seminars together!}