I have the opportunity to meet lots of women and hear many of their stories. Sometimes they are stories of joy and victory, but many times they are stories of heartbreak and brokenness. Especially in the area of marriage.
That’s one reason my husband and I speak together on “SAFEguarding Your Marriage”.
But not only that, after 20 years, I am continually learning how beautiful marriage is, when it’s done God’s way.
photo courtesy of sxc.hu @marceloto
I love how God created woman to be our husband’s HELPER. This is to say, we are to support, complement and come alongside our husband. For many years, I missed this key element, and its resultant blessings, because I was so busy meeting my own needs, worrying about my agenda, and fighting against true Biblical submission to my husband.
As God would have it, it took in large part, moving away from all that was familiar for me to start to fully embrace this facet of God’s great plan for my marriage.
And was I ever missing something.
There are many translations of the fabled verse Genesis 2:18, but a few of my favorites are the Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) and the Amplified Bible (AMP) versions. (Pick your favorite at Bible Gateway.com)
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.” Gen 2:18 HCSB
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” Gen 2:18 AMP
When we develop the virtues of a Godly Helpmate, we become complementary, suitable and helpful wives. As God intended.
A Godly helpmate PRAYS wholeheartedly.
Never underestimate the power of prayer. Not only should you pray WITH your husband as often as possible, you should pray FOR your husband, interceding on his behalf, in his presence and when you are praying alone. When we present our requests to God, he intercedes in our marriage and we not only share deeper intimacy with our husband, we experience unified dependence on the Lord. One friend I know prays with her husband every morning before he leaves for work. What a profound example of helping the one we love.
Not sure where to start praying together? Try a familiar prayer like The Lord’s Prayer, or take a short scripture passage and read it out loud together. Just start somewhere, and God will honor your obedience.
A Godly helpmate EMULATES others.
I’ve had the privilege of witnessing some amazing women who beautifully embody the word “helpmate” in action. Diane Davis and Gail Hyatt, are two such women. Their husbands have powerful public lives in professional ministry and business. Each woman in her own right is intelligent, talented and wonderful. But when I spent 4 days with them at the SCORRE conference last fall, what I saw in them was a beautiful display of coming alongside their husbands as Godly helpmates. Not only do they love their husbands well, but they also fully support them and complement them.
I want to be like them. And by watching them, and applying what I see, I can “fake it till I make it.” Pay attention to the women you respect in this area, ask questions and emulate what they do.
A Godly helpmate INVESTS in her man.
Simple fact: many women cannot describe in detail what their husband does for a living. Understanding with proficiency the work he does and the people he works with requires effort and investment. But think about it – this is where he spends 80-90{d1aeb0647e11aca2158145aa1a9b93c50a6862ffe00c217b3bb5a80532b3d8ec} of his time. Maybe he doesn’t feel like talking about work today? Ask tomorrow. And keep asking.
When you show interest (and the more you know, the more genuinely interested you become), you let him know you care about and respect his vocation. Which translates to “you care about, and respect me.”
No matter where you start, it’s never too late to begin adopting the virtues of a Godly Helpmate. When you are in God’s will in this area you will experience the greatest privilege available in marriage. Remember, God created YOU to be the perfect complement to your man. And when you embrace it, it will bless your man, and your marriage, abundantly.
Struggles? Successes? Feel free to comment here, or message Sarah direct.
Want to make an impact in marriages around you? Craig and Sarah Beckman 
are available to speak to your church or group on “SAFEguarding Your Marriage.”Inquire today!